This story is about Dan and Samantha Fuller, who had just met and got eloped in Las Vegas. The strange part is, Samantha had never seen Dan’s house before and had no idea what was in store for her. Dan approaches Samantha and explains that he has a confession to make. Samantha remarks there’s nothing that could be so bad to strain their marriage, and Dan says “in that case, you won’t mind that I have a wild chimp locked in my basement.”
She assumed it’s a stupid joke and embraced him for a kiss, and while he wasn’t the brightest and most humorous man, Samantha had always admired Dan because he had a lot of money. The reality was Dan had adopted Bogo the Monkey years earlier. Bogo the monkey is a retired actor who became a burnout in the entertainment industry. Bogo’s lack of self-control and curious tendencies made him destroy all the footage on his last film shoot, and was later reduced to artsy street performance gigs. The children weren’t so impressed.
Dan and Samantha head down to the basement where Samantha came to a realization: and that was “God, oh dear God, my husband has a monkey locked in his basement.” Dan insisted Samantha become well acquainted with Bogo so he retreated to the living room to enjoy a long, delicious, cigarette. The meeting went… awkwardly.
Later on the evening, Dan spoke to Samantha about some ground rules in their marriage, which would surely include Bogo. Rule number one: Bogo will join them for breakfast every morning, on occasion, Bogo enjoys long walks at the park; Bogo likes watching us sleep; Bogo enjoys playing tag; Bogo enjoys playing cops and robbers. Bogo enjoys piggyback riding.
Dan had taken Samantha to their marital bed for the first time. It was a romantic moment… until Bogo had showed up. Samantha became startled, and Dan had explained that he had promised that when he was going to consummate his marriage, he would allow Bogo bear witness to the love making. Perplexed, Samantha had gone along with it. Rest assured, things had gotten very weird.
As months have passed, Samantha never warmed up to living with a chimp in the house. She also really wished Dan had mentioned something prior to getting married. Samantha always held the sentiment that, “keeping a monkey out its habitat is unnatural and probably illegal.” But Dan, having connections in the entertainment industry, had been allowed to keep Bogo as a pet. Some observers in the industry called Dan an animal lover, most reasonable people called him “yet another sick Hollywood pervert.”
During their honeymoon, Samantha grew annoyed by Dan’s fixation on Bogo. On the flight to the cruise port, he would worry how Bogo would be faring in his mansion, all alone. Although entertainment industry insiders knew that Dan owned a giant monkey, they were reluctant to babysit it because they always suspected Bogo had a violent streak, and they had zero interest in becoming mauled. Dan would obsess during the entire flight. There were some mornings where Dan would wake up especially happy from a dream he just had. Samantha could only speculate.
Even during the cruise, a delusional Dan would look to the ocean and think he’d see Bogo swimming toward the deck. But the frequently embarrassed Samantha would kindly point out to Dan that it was actually a hippopotamus. On the safari, Samantha wanted to share her thoughts about Bogo, who had miraculously gone unmentioned by her husband for five minutes. She attempted to sway Dan into releasing Bogo into his natural habitat. “See?” she remarked. “Even Mr. Birdie likes being in the wild.”
To which Dan remarked, “Oh pumpkin, this is the 1950s. Men don’t marry you for your thoughts and ideas. We marry you for delicious sandwiches.”
Samantha had always remained distant from Bogo ever since their last encounter, which had carried very suspect undertones. Dan kept begging Samantha to let Bogo get closer to her, to help give him the idea that she trusts him. Finally, Samantha gave in to Dan’s requests. “Let Bogo touch your hair” he said “Look deep into Bogo’s eyes” he said. Dan would watch on while Bogo would sniff Samantha’s skin, things would go on smoothly, until Bogo decided to rip Samantha’s face off.